Okay, wait, so I have to tell you about this one before I leave today.
So last night, I went into the kitchen to take some medication, and I had many, many things on my mind. I retrieved a cup from the cabinet, poured a glass of water and even filled up the Brita filter, and then put the Brita back into the refrigerator. I opened another cabinet and pulled out the medicine bottle, uncapped it, took one out, threw it into my mouth and swallowed it with some water. I was mid-way through another gulp of water when it suddenly struck me:
WHAT HAD I JUST INGESTED?
My mouth still full of water, I looked down at the bottle I held in my hand. It was green, and not what I was intending to take. I read the label in horror:
Patient Name: Trooper
Drug: Cephalexin
OH. MY. GOD. I just took my dog's medicine!!
I raced past Joel into my office, and sat down at the computer immediately. "What's wrong?" he asked, perplexed. "Uh, I just swallowed Trooper's medicine. Don't ask me why, because I don't have a good answer."
I Googled "Cephalexin" and the second hit on the list read "Cephalexin (Keflex)." I shot straight up out of my chair and shouted, "KEFLEX!! KEFLEX?? I TOOK KEFLEX?!?! I'M ALLERGIC TO KEFLEX!!" I shakily ran to my files and dragged out a copy of my medical records. "Known allergies...Keflex." SHIT!
I brushed past Joel and said, "I've got to throw it up. I'm allergic to Keflex." A slight look of horror came across his face, and I reassured him that the last time I had taken Keflex had resulted in a rash and hives, nothing life-threatening. But still. I didn't want any of it in my system.
I marched into the bathroom, got down on my knees, and pried open the toilet seat. I looked down at the water and thought, "Really? I have to do this? It's not fair! I'm SOBER!" The next few minutes were not pleasant, and I'll just say this: I'm not sure I'll be able to eat Tom Kar soup at my favorite Thai restaurant anymore, and I would be a horrible bulimic. I couldn't hardly get anything up. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough, but I thought to myself, "You know, this is not a good time to not have high self-efficacy about your ability to gag yourself." I finally managed to get something up that resembled a capsule, and I flushed the toilet and washed my hands. I came out of the bathroom, and said to Joel, "I don't know what the hell that was about, but, I'm going to make sure I'm a little more cognitively present the next time I attempt to take medication. RIDICULOUS."
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