Okay, wait, so I have to tell you about this one before I leave today.

So last night, I went into the kitchen to take some medication, and I had many, many things on my mind.  I retrieved a cup from the cabinet, poured a glass of water and even filled up the Brita filter, and then put the Brita back into the refrigerator.  I opened another cabinet and pulled out the medicine bottle, uncapped it, took one out, threw it into my mouth and swallowed it with some water.  I was mid-way through another gulp of water when it suddenly struck me:

WHAT HAD I JUST INGESTED?

My mouth still full of water, I looked down at the bottle I held in my hand.  It was green, and not what I was intending to take.  I read the label in horror:
Patient Name:  Trooper
Drug:  Cephalexin

OH.  MY.  GOD.  I just took my dog's medicine!!

I raced past Joel into my office, and sat down at the computer immediately.  "What's wrong?" he asked, perplexed.  "Uh, I just swallowed Trooper's medicine.  Don't ask me why, because I don't have a good answer."

I Googled "Cephalexin" and the second hit on the list read "Cephalexin (Keflex)."  I shot straight up out of my chair and shouted, "KEFLEX!!  KEFLEX??  I TOOK KEFLEX?!?!  I'M ALLERGIC TO KEFLEX!!"  I shakily ran to my files and dragged out a copy of my medical records.  "Known allergies...Keflex."  SHIT! 

I brushed past Joel and said, "I've got to throw it up.  I'm allergic to Keflex."  A slight look of horror came across his face, and I reassured him that the last time I had taken Keflex had resulted in a rash and hives, nothing life-threatening.  But still.  I didn't want any of it in my system.

I marched into the bathroom, got down on my knees, and pried open the toilet seat.  I looked down at the water and thought, "Really?  I have to do this?  It's not fair!  I'm SOBER!"  The next few minutes were not pleasant, and I'll just say this:  I'm not sure I'll be able to eat Tom Kar soup at my favorite Thai restaurant anymore, and I would be a horrible bulimic.  I couldn't hardly get anything up.  Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough, but I thought to myself, "You know, this is not a good time to not have high self-efficacy about your ability to gag yourself."  I finally managed to get something up that resembled a capsule, and I flushed the toilet and washed my hands.  I came out of the bathroom, and said to Joel, "I don't know what the hell that was about, but, I'm going to make sure I'm a little more cognitively present the next time I attempt to take medication.  RIDICULOUS."

 


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