Blog Archives - Labradoris
Hello, I love Labs and my dog is a shit.  Well, at least she's been a shit for the past week.  Cosette, has, to my best estimation, been rebelling against the fact that I'm always working.  Let me share a story with you. 

I don't have a fenced yard, for several reasons.  One being the house did not come with it.  Two, I'm not living here long enough to justify the purchase.  Three, my neighborhood is famously without fences.  During the summer months, the kids run around the neighborhood going past the houses and through the yards.  One person's backyard is everyone's backyard.  Four, I don't think my yard would look nice with a fence.  I kind of like the no-fence approach right now.

So, when it comes to dogs, when I let my dogs out to do their business, I, as a courtesy to everyone, stand outside with my dogs while they relieve themselves.  This way I can monitor exactly where they are at (if they poop in my neighbors' yard, I pick it up with a bag I have handy) and mostly they stay in the yard with no problems.  This excuses me from having to pull leashes out, attach the leashes, get shoes on, walk them out to the front/back yard, stand there and wait, etc.  It's a lazy persons' ideal situation. 

However, and this is a big however, my dogs will suddenly and with little warning get a wild hair up their butts about once every three months.  This problem usually happens with Joel, who loves the dogs fiercely but is less of a disciplinarian than I am.  I have a feeling this will be the same way when we have kids.  But that's another matter.  If Joel lets them out, they tend to walk a little further, wander a little farther, take a little more time.  If I let them out, boy howdy should they ever get their little butts inside faster than a New York minute or there will be trouble.  But sometimes, this wild hair rebellion thing happens with me too.  For instance, the other morning, I let Cosette out in the front yard for her morning pee.  She without warning, tore straight out of my yard and into my far neighbor's yard (3 houses away).  I'm out in the backyard with my frickin' pajamas on, shivering in the chilly air, my breath steaming up the patio.  I whistle instead of yell, because it's early morning and my neighborhood looks sleepy.  She looks up, and  the continues to ignore me as she trots further away.  I meanwhile drag Trooper inside, go put shoes on, grab a jacket, and meander out the back to go fetch her.  Turns out by the time I had done all that, she had come to the back door, waiting to be let in.  I didn't say anything, only opened the door and let her back in (because as we all know, one of the worst things you can do is to punish a dog for coming back).  I promptly informed Joel that she would need to be let out on a leash for a while.

Well, she gets the leash treatment on and off, and I think that may be the problem, and it also may be the fact that she's been holed up in my guest bedroom as I've been pounding away on my work, poor thing, and Joel decided to let her out this morning.  She peed, and then without looking back, tore off.  I MEAN THAT DOG DUN RUNOFT.  So, Joel walks around the neighborhood and doesn't see her whatsoever.  He comes back to the house and says he's going to drive around to see if he can find her.  I sigh heavily, wondering why she hasn't come back in the first place. 

I haul on some shoes, pull a jacket on, and then go for an early-morning walk around my neighborhood.  Halfway around my block, I spot her in a neighbor's yard, sniffing away.  This neighbor is actually one of the houses behind me, so technically she's not far from home.  But her little shenanigans make me think that SHE IS A LITTLE SHIT.  Look at her, making me exercise in the cold morning air.  For shame, for shame, you little shit!