Labradoris

Last night, I left LG and Joel to the task of getting ready for bed, and I strapped on my various sources of warmth to take Cosette for a walk.  I needed to get out in the cold night air for a little bit, take a few laps around the neighborhood to clear my head.  I took my cell phone along to call one of my best friends, and set off down the road.  I had to pull the thumb of my glove back enough so that my fingernail could push the menu buttons on the cell, but I finally found my friend's number.  I dialed, and listened to the ringing and then the subsequent voicemail as I continued to walk down the road.  It beeped, and I think I said something like, "Hi, it's me, just wanting to check in, but uh...uh...I uh...I guess I'll...uh...talk to you later.  Okay bye."  The reason for my staccato "uhs" was for a very good reason:  there was a big dog standing in the road around the corner from us.  I hung up my phone and slipped it into my pocket, and kept walking Cosette down to the corner.  The dog hadn't moved.  I thought briefly about turning the other way and ignoring the dog, but it didn't seem to be bothered by our presence.  I decided to walk towards it, and the dog began to wag its tail. 

Upon closer inspection, I realized the dog had a collar and a hankerchief around its neck.  After letting the two dogs get aquainted, I slowly let the dog sniff me and greet me.  She was an older dog, fairly large.  I gently reached for her tag on her collar, but to my disappointment, it was only a rabies tag.  I straightened back up, looking around in the dark night, and saw no houses lit up or any movement from any direction.  I looked back down at the dog, concerned.  I didn't want to just leave her here, knowing that it was cold outside and her owners didn't appear to be in sight.  I didn't, however, want to take her away if she had just been released outside for a minute to use the bathroom.  I didn't recognize the dog so I wasn't entirely sure it belonged to anyone in the immediate area.

I went ahead and fastened my gloved hand around her collar and encouraged her to come with me.  She easily fell into place right along side me as we walked back around the bend and up to my house.  Cosette acted like she could care less; she was taking the opportunity to walk on a loose lead and sniff everything with abandon. 

I approached the house with both dogs in tow, and got close enough to open the storm door, but couldn't manage to open the main door without losing a grip on the storm door.  I finally called out, pathetically, "Joel..." as I knew he could probably hear me.  Sure enough, he came to the door and Cosette bounded in, and I, bent, looked up and said, "I found a dog." 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNG-uPTUq1M

You are the bravest man I’ve ever met
You unreluctant at treacherous ledge

You are the sexiest man I’ve ever been with
You, never hotter than with armor spent

When you do what you do to provide
How you land in the soft as you fortify

This is in praise of the vulnerable man
Why won’t you lead the rest of your cavalry home

You, with your eyes mix strength with abandon
You with your new kind of heroism

And I bow and I bow down to you
To the grace that it takes to melt on through

This is in praise of the vulnerable man
Why won’t you lead the rest of your cavalry home
This is a thank you for letting me in
Indeed in praise of the vulnerable man

You are the greatest man I’ve ever met
You the stealth setter of new precedents

And I vow and I vow to be true
And I vow and I vow not to take advantage

This is in praise of the vulnerable man
Why won’t you lead the rest of your cavalry home
This is a thank you for letting me in
Indeed in praise of the vulnerable man

1. I love my dogs. They are such an awesome addition to my life.

2. I’ve never been so purely fascinated, enriched, engaged, and simultaneously in a constant state of hurt, disappointment, and anger as I have been in this Ph.D. program.

3. I really, truly miss my friends and colleagues from my previous University.

4. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in graduate school is how to narrow my focus in order to finish. In fact, it is in direct contrast with how I think and live my life: broadly.

5. I wear 85 SPF sunscreen every single day. I also wear sunglasses no matter the weather. Skin cancer is a real possibility for me. I’ve also never smoked – anything.

6. I hold others to very high professional standards. I think this is a fault sometimes.

7. For the first time in my life, I have managed to keep a New Year’s Resolution the whole year.

8. I dance more than once a day.

9. I quite possibly had the best match for a mentor, colleague, and friend in my masters program, and she’s irreplaceable to me in such a deep, trusting sort of way.

10. My partner is the most encouraging, smart, engaging, supportive, humorous, warmest, and bravest person I’ve ever had the pleasure to be in a relationship with. I often say to him that when we are out hiking with the dogs, I’ve never felt more like I’m in an L.L. Bean or Eddie Bauer catalogue. That imagery is something I’ve desired since I was a pre-teen. Now the real thing is here, and the feeling that goes along with that imagery is indescribable.

11. I feel alive and connected when I am teaching or practicing yoga.

12. Most people don’t understand my piercings or body modification in general. That’s okay. I don’t ask that you do. I just ask that you don’t judge me, because they are there for a deeper personal reason. Speaking of judging others, I don’t judge your personal choices, so I would ask that you don’t judge mine.

13. I miss my family, and they still weigh very heavily into every decision I make.

14. I've learned how to be more patient with the added complexity.

15. I finally, finally have a grasp on statistics. We had to battle it out for a while (years), but this semester, a leap in my conceptual understanding of it has occurred. It took, and continues to take, a lot of work.

16. I actually like his parents.

"I'm like a Blackberry...except more needy."
-Joel, on explaining how he keeps me organized sometimes

Joel: "I'm an imperfect person and I have my flaws. For instance, how I crunch my chips when I eat them."
Me: "Well, I know there are things about me that are far from perfect or that you don't like."
Joel: "Yeah, the thing that is not perfect about you is that you complain when I crunch my chips when I eat them."
Me: "Well, if you didn't crunch your chips, I wouldn't complain. Sooo...it's of your own doing why I'm not perfect."
Joel: "It's a catch-22." -pause-
Joel: "By the way, do you know how much concentration it took to not crunch my nachos tonight during the movie?"
Me: "What?! Oh my gosh. I feel kind of bad."
Joel: "Yeah, it went something like this (does sing-song voice): pick chip up, dip in cheese, insert in mouth, close lips, chew chew chew."
Me: "Wait a second, you're telling me you had a SONG?"
Joel: "Not really. It just took a lot of thinking to not crunch down on those first delicious bites."

Joel and I were driving down the main drag of the town a few months ago, and a big, pimped-out Ram truck pulled in front of us at the stoplight.  We sat there silently for a few moments, observing the massive amount of space it was taking up.  Suddenly Joel spoke up, "That's quite a truck. I can just see the guy at the dealer now: 'Excuse me, do you have anything more hick?'"
I laughed, and Joel continued, "And then the dealer says, 'Why, yes, sir, but we're out of the hick-deluxe model. We'll have to special order it.' "
I laughed and agreed.  Then Joel cocked his head and said through a smirk, "And then I bet he was like, 'When I rev my engine, will it play a Toby Keith song?'"